An alternative wedding otherwise known as a commitment ceremony is non-legally binding. It allows couples getting lawfully married to plan and celebrate the ceremony separately. This means splitting up your marriage celebrations into many events.
Let me explain…Many couples separate their ceremony, reception and party. In 2024, 68.7 thousand couples married, and 24.8 thousand entered a registered partnership. Thereafter, a alternative wedding is planned to celebrate their relationship. Source: www.cbs.nl
But tell me, is an alternative wedding right for you? Let me help you decide. Take a look at my clients reviews for inspiration. If you want to create a wedding separate from your marriage. Read this ultimate guide to alternative weddings and commitment ceremonies.
The Alternative Wedding – Commitment Ceremony
The history of alternative weddings & commitment ceremonies
Commitment ceremonies and alternative are non-binding marriage celebrations. Historically, commitment ceremonies were popular with LGBTQIA and straight couples unable to marry due to their country’s laws. It focuses on trust, loyalty, and respect. The commitment ceremony avoids words linked to inequality. This makes it the perfect alternative wedding. Source inspired by: GLBT Historical Society.
A – Z Planning an Alternative Wedding!
• Affordable alternative wedding
Are you thinking about a commitment ceremony? How much does it cost? One thing for sure it is inexpensive. There are no legal marriage fees. Couples can use the money saved to book a celebrant or ceremony speaker. Or choose for a more luxurious wedding venue. Save even more money and plan a midweek wedding.
• Arrange catering for your big day
With a deep connection and growing happiness for one another your planning journey is on track. But what about the food? They say, ‘the way to our lovers heart is through the stomach’. Thus, catering is essential for your alternative wedding. Good food, drinks, and treats keep guests entertained, too! Hire a catering service. Don’t forget to find out everyone’s dietary needs. Create a list of meals suitable for all your guests. Make your commitment ceremony extra special. Here are reception timeline catering tips.
• Book music and entertainment
There is plenty to consider when planning a alternative wedding. Decide on upon the best course of action. One of them should be the soundtrack of your love. Do you have a playlist? Live music and entertainment should be on your checklist. It adds a special touch to your celebrations. Feel free to personalise a commitment ceremony. Remember, live music is not compulsory. Use Spotify or another playlist, it works just as well. Ultimately, it’s your day, so decide what feels right for you!
• Choose an alternative wedding abroad
Celebrate your love in beautiful destination like Amsterdam, Ibiza, Sicily, or the Algarve in Portugal. You and your partner do not need to be legally married. What’s more, your ceremonial wedding abroad can be combined with a honeymoon. This is the ultimate commitment ceremony for two.
• Celebrate your marriage separately from the wedding
When planning a separate wedding, you need a budget. Decide in advance how much you want to invest. Make the process easier with a spreadsheet. Do you want to get lawfully married? Then contact a registrar. Otherwise, host a commitment ceremony with a ceremony speaker. Remember, you can enjoy the benefits of a legal marriage. But do you want to? It is a personal choice! Here’s what you need to know about a budget.
• Decide on a alternative wedding dress code
Commitment ceremonies are fun, casual, and informal. Choose outfits that reflect your personal style. Brides and grooms can opt for vintage, classic, or a luxurious outfit. From white or off-white to the colour of the Year for weddings. Pick clothing that best matches the theme of your wedding.
• Find an alternative wedding venue
Where are commitment ceremonies held? Commitment ceremonies open the door to a world of stunning venues. From a luxurious hotel, a boat, a castle, a forest, a park location, to a five-star restaurant. The choices are endless! Best of all, you have complete control over every detail. Don’t forget timings to styling for your ceremony. Make your special day uniquely yours!
• Get legally married or not
Planning a wedding allows you to celebrate your love without the need for paperwork. Prioritise your vision for your special day. However, if your parents expect a traditional wedding, let them know your intentions beforehand. This will prevent misunderstandings and ensure that no one feels hurt. Moreover, your commitment ceremony should reflect your love and loyalty. Share your plans with those who care.
• Hire an alternative wedding officiant
Officiants, also known as celebrants create beautiful commitment ceremony experiences for couples. Readings, heartfelt vows, and special elements such as rings, and rituals personalise your ceremonial wedding. Ceremonial wedding ceremony costs start from €899. Extra costs for a certificate, wedding venue and photographer may apply. Moreover, a booking deposit will be needed to reserve your wedding date.
• Invite guests to the commitment ceremony
Do you need guests to attend your alternative wedding? A ceremonial wedding can be even more enjoyable with the presence of loved ones. Consider inviting family, friends, witnesses, bridesmaids, a best man and those closest to you. It’s typical to invite between 30 to 100 people for an alternative wedding and the ultimate commitment ceremony.
• Plan an alternative wedding at any age
Whether you’re in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, or even eighties, a ceremonial wedding without marriage is a wonderful option. Finding love at any age is an incredible experience and a milestone worth celebrating. You might choose not to marry again after a first, second, or even third marriage. Interestingly, the Office for National Statistics says, ‘The number of people over 50 getting married for the first time has doubled. So, feel free to plan a ceremonial wedding. It’s a beautiful way to create something that’s uniquely meaningful for you and your partner.
• Short or long alternative wedding
A commitment ceremony lasts between 20 and 30 minutes. It’s tailored to a couple’s personality. And includes the exchange of vows and rings. You can have religious or non-religious, too. An officiant help you with a bespoke ceremony. Capture the essence of your relationship. Make every moment personal and memorable!
• Seek support from loved ones’ for your alternative wedding
There is no wrong time to host an alternative wedding. It shows the depth of love for your partner. However, some loved ones may not support your decision. If fact, they might struggle to understand your choice. How do you cope with it? Easy! Invite those who are supportive of your love. Embrace the joy of your commitment. Let those who support you share in your celebration.
• Sort out legal stuff before alternative wedding
A commitment ceremony is a non-legally binding. Couples love this celebration because there is no marriage license is involved. Therefore, if you wish to marry legally, you must arrange it beforehand. By choosing a commitment ceremony, you choose for you.
• Write vows for your alternative wedding
What does commitment mean? According to The Gottman Institute, ‘When you choose commitment, you resist the temptation to betray your partner. You create trust and safety. This is achieved by working out your differences’. A beautiful way to affirm this commitment is to include vows as part of the ceremony. Make your ceremonial wedding truly persona. Together, you and your partner can share the depth of your feelings. In front of loved ones celebrate your joy and happiness. Your vows are the highlight of a commitment ceremony. Vows make a meaningful celebration extra special.
Alternative wedding outline – freedom of expression:
A commitment ceremony is a celebration of love. It represents a couple’s union, focusing on personal expression. Does it fit your lifestyle and traditions? The meaningful event celebrates “Two hearts becoming one!” Unlike traditional marriages, alternative wedding ceremonies are informal and non-binding. This offers couples complete freedom and flexibility to personalise their special day. With the help of an officiant celebrant, different elements are blended into the ceremony. Create the perfect celebration of love. Discover the ultimate guide to commitment ceremonies. See below!
Alternative ceremony timings1. Announcements 2 – 3 minutes |
|
| 2. Welcome music (optional) | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 3. Couples /partner’s entrance | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 4. Welcome by officiant | 5 – 8 minutes |
| 5. Welcome to kids, parents & VIP guests | 2 – 3 minutes |
| 6. Dedication to the life partners | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 7. Meaningful readings – guest speakers | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 8. Couples love and life story by officiant | 5 – 10 minutes |
| music – small choir (optional) | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 9. Words of love about the couple | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 10. spoken or written love contract (vows) & promises | 3 – 5 minutes
|
| 11. Community moment of support from family & friends (optional)
Children say ‘We DO! |
2 – 3 minutes |
| 12. ring exchange
|
3 – 5 minutes |
| 13. Certificate of commitment signing (optional) | 5 – 10 minutes
(Depending on the number of witnesses) |
| 14. The Kiss | 0.30 secs – 1 minute |
| 15. Officiant’s words of wisdom | |
| 16. Congratulations | 2 – 3 minutes |
| 17. Conclusion | 1 minute |
| 18. Closing song | 3 – 5 minutes |
| 19. End of ceremonial wedding/commitment ceremony | 1 minute |
While you’re here…
How do you want to celebrate your alternative wedding? What type of couple are you? Leave a message below!
This whole legal marriage/domestic partnership thing is just a scam that the government came up with just so they can tax committed relationships. You don’t need some scrap of paper, or any kind of government or religious approval in order to live together, sleep together, make love, raise a family, and grow old together. When you are ready to commit yourself to your significant other, don’t get a license, and don’t change your name. Just gather your friends together, exchange your vows, then live happily ever after. In other words: Get married spiritually, not legally.
Thanks your observations about commitment ceremonies. I totally agree with you. Who needs a legal paper to get married and to express ones love for their significant other. A commitment Ceremony works just as good, and the ‘tax money’ can be used to plan a celebration of love with friends and family.