Pre-Marriage Questions Engaged Couples Should Discuss

Pre-marriage questions wearing white gown and man wearing blue suit holding one another's hand

Are you in a serious relationship and dreaming about getting married? Ask pre-wedding questions to find out if you’re truly compatible. Albeit you are engaged feeling buzzed and loved up, you may have the biggest doubts about your upcoming nuptials.

In fact, whether you are from the Americas wanting a legalised marriage. Or you’re from Europe / UK preferring a celebrant to officiate your wedding ceremony. It could be that Asia is your country of residence, and you want a ceremonial symbolic act.

Whatever part of the world you live in. One thing is certain you could be an international, multiracial, or same-sex couple with pre-marital issues. But it’s not about me, a black marriage celebrants’ opinion. It’s about you and your spouse, right? So, get openhearted answers about your serious relationship. Dive in deep to these pre-wedding questions.



bruidegom kust zijn bruid onder een poortje

Pre-wedding questions = pre-marital issues. It’s the best way to find out what’s truly in your heart [without blaming each other]. So, take romantic trip down memory lane and create the road map that echos a great love story. photo credit: Lajla-Borg-Jensen-at-RGBStock-com



So, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. Is your man putting manscaping first? What about his other hygiene habits? Well girl, building a closer bond of everlasting friendship means he should smell good. Prioritised daily freshness is a must: don’t loose the hots for him!


Does your spouse fulfill your emotional needs? When was the first time you said “I love you”? Did you feel weird, moody and weird about it?  Or did your partner have to guess it? Whether you remember the exact moment or not. If you feel that the person is your soulmate then that’s all-what matters, right?


Do you feel annoyed with your partners behaviour sometimes? And does he spend more time with his mates than you? Do you feel lonely in the relationship? Does he truly listen? Can you cope with the pet peeves? Perhaps you can make a Pro & Cons list to find out if he ticks all your boxes.


Do you relate to this one? Do you struggle with cultural conflicts? Is your relationship challenging? Is it a strain trying to understand where you’re partner is coming from? Well, don’t be afraid to feel like this, many couples identity with you. This is a pre-marital issue that needs to be addressed and dealt with appropriately.


Do you avoid the comfy cozy chat on the couch? Do you have insecurity issues with trust? Well, both of these things can cause anxiety. But, the right words can strengthen your love. Plan regular date nights on the comfy cozy couch with a bottle of wine. So, dare to discuss your different ways of looking at things. And listen to your likes and dislikes about the loving partnership.


Pre-marriage questions groom, groomsmen and father of the bride dressed in white tuxedos walking on a beach

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Are you ready for a new chapter in your life? Do you want a fulfilling relationship partner? Pre-wedding interview questions are about daring to confront the issues. Share what’s on your mind (in a relaxed way).


Envision your life as it is now, where do you see yourself a few years from now? And will your partner fulfill your needs? Is your spouse loyal? Well, don’t feel awful about taking the next step. But, be truthful, you wont know him until you’ve spent ample time together and meet his friends and family. Namely, you can disagree but value his opinion.


Do you like compliments? Do you feel jealous of your partners profession? What do you envy the most about your spouse’s life? Or is your partner envious of your friends and family? Well, if your other half feels like this, then the relationship might not thrive. Share these important observations. It’s better out than in!


Is loyalty important to you? Does your partner have a gaming addiction? Or are you smothered with guilt? Does your partner exhibit toxic behaviour? Or does your partner deliberately sabotage your nights out with your mates? Jealously, the green eyed monster is a sign of insecurity, low self esteem and self worth. Source:


And what’s your spouses true intention, is the person financially savvy? What about your private goals, and confidential stuff – money matters. No romance without finance is a nuisance. Money can be the number one cause of divorce. So, don’t be blinded by love, difficult wedding planning and budgeting decisions. Find your bank statements and get stuck into it!


Let’s face it, we ladies don’t want a man who is unable to support himself. Is he stable like a table? Can he get it together through good and bad times? So, he is gorgeous, does he have great charisma and is good in bed. But what about his financial ties? He could still be financially attached to his ex-wife. This means you are out of the picture.


pre-marriage questions

Pre-wedding questions: don’t take the back seat, drive your true feelings upfront. Shine a bright light on untold secrets, blatant lies, and unrealistic expectations. Get down and dirty and uncover the ultimate truth.


Another common issue couples fight about is sex, money and spending quality time together. Nevertheless, does your relationship feel like it’s hit rock bottom? Are you no longer satisfied in the bedroom? Are there things you really can’t stand anymore? Don’t let your gut feelings slip your mind. No one is immune, talk aboutit however painful it feels.


Do you have a problem communicating what is good and bad within your relationship? Have you ever questioned the moral code or the ethical values upon which your relationship is based? Are you able to say these simple words, “I’m sorry babe. I agree with you my honey. You are or were right.”?


Although there’s a language of love, how do you sustain it when you speak different languages? Are you really confident about your relationship and feel committed to it? Whether your love is sweet, slow and steady. Or fiery, fast and furious you can make your relationship work, if that’s what you really want.


Ask yourself, are you in full charge or does your partner rule? Whereas waving goodbye to old arguments strengthens your relationship, so can starting a family. And the shared joy, and happiness of being together could feel like you’ve hit the jackpot.  Becoming parents with a bunch of kids can be nerve-racking. Be realistic, it’s a big job. So, be clear about it.


And what about getting a background health check? Namely, hidden concerns about extending your family tree could be a red alarm. But if you’ve both had a background health check this is a sign of a true connection. Have you been to the clinic? Well, nip any problems in the bud and get checked out now!



Sadly, letting go of troubles and realising the honeymoon phase is over can be devastating. Of course, the lovey-dovey time passes by and reality kicks in. Perhaps these new emotions worry you? Do you feel troubled about what the future holds? Are you tough on yourself? Communicate your feelings, wishes and desires. Spend quality time together!


Whether you are spiritualist, religious or non-religious, face your troubles and work on the issues that you are most concerned about. More importantly, enjoy the engagement. And look forward to hearing those wedding bells ring. Rekindle the love fire before the big day. In addition, stamp out a new sense of value!


Feeling like a couple bubble means you are the only two people in the world. Open your eyes, mirror the respect and commitment you have for one another. Understanding each others needs to have children in the future creates a deeper, richer and healthier relationship.


Another thing, are you bickering and arguing more than usual? Do you feel the  pressure is on to plan the perfect wedding? Are there major confrontation, anxiety and anger issues? How do you avoid all of this? Well,  here’s the truth fighting before marriage is normal.


Do you bounce ideas off one another about how to cope with family feuds? In fact, do your family and friends like him? Getting on famously with each other’s relatives is really important. In fact, engaging with loved ones on a regularly basis shows you support each others need for family and friends. And enjoy a little moral support, it goes a long way.


interview questions woman wearing white gown and man wearing blue suit holding one another's hand

Two people coming together can do better than one on their own. A strong bond of lasting friendship mirrors a meaningful and sentimental loving relationship. But, is he a sexy man? Then he understands your need to be physically intimate and affectionate when the mood is right!



How long have you been a couple? Do you embrace each others flaws – imperfections? Do you compromise? Is there miscommunication? Are you walking on eggshells? Well, this isn’t healthy. Gain excellent maneuver tactics and become expert matrimonial mediators. From poles apart, two halves make a whole. But, is it worth it, is he who you think he is?


And this is another touchy subject. A wedding can trigger things from the past. Albeit the next chapter of your life feels exciting is very scary. Do you have a loving, healthy relationship? Are you wishing for an exceptional celebration? In all honesty, you’ve both got heavy baggage to carry from the past. So, avoid the no nonsense chat.


Does your partner influence you? Are you drugged up and dizzy in love? Perhaps your addicted to their viewpoint? How much booze do you drink? Being influenced by your partner doesn’t mean you’ve lost your independence. But you don’t have to partake in drugs, alcohol or other mind altering stuff to get respect.


Remember. when you are affectionate toward your partner, it lets them know how  important they are to you. So, take control of your life and feelings. Big romantic risks, bring great rewards. And, if red flags are waving, alarm bells are sounding off, or you have big knots in your gut. You must address it.

 man hugging woman near seashore Man hugging woman near seashore

Face the fear. He might feel like a failure but ready to talk about his insecurities. When you are wrong admit it and when you are right keep quiet. Sort this out before the big day! image


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About Clover Jean: I'm a Londoner based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Being a ceremonial wedding - symbolic marriage officiant with a gospel & soul choir is rewarding work. So, my guilty pleasures are fine dining, travel hot spots and on-line retail therapy. What's yours? Get in touch, via Instagram #cloverjeanamsterdam or Facebook. LIKE, SHARE, SPREAD THE LOVE & see you soon!

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