Difficult Wedding Decisions That Expose The Truth About You

difficult wedding decisions couple holding wooden cut-outs of two love birds wit the words we do

Difficult wedding decisions are like hanging out your dirty laundry, personal underwear and private things that expose the truth about your relationship. It brings distress, embarrassment and blows your mind. So, which secrets do you reveal?

Let’s be real, everyone can see what the problem is except you. Albeit your heart flutters are you ready to let your partner go all the way with the planning?

Look wedding planning isn’t rocket science or brain surgery. And, it does not require high-tech organizational skills. But, like washing clothes you need to separate the colours from the whites.

Otherwise, mix-ups, minor stuff and misunderstandings overshadow your plans. As a matter of fact, weddings can be stressful leading to doubts, regrets and trivial arguments. But, how do you overcome these joint challenges before saying, “I do”?

And how do you take action to avoid the feud with your partner? Well, use these ideas to triumph over your feelings. More importantly, steer clear of any struggles, upsets or stupid mistakes. Let’s take a clean look at 20 messy spots that might arise.

Difficult wedding decisions

wedding flower ideas bridemaids and groom with translucent bouquets

“Serious-minded men are more susceptible to wedding stress than sensible women. And this recurrent part of planning can cause irritations, frustrations and anguish.” Source: English-wedding.com.

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1 • Is there a kink in the washing line of love?

Here’s the deal…bouncing wedding plans back and forth with your other half is a whole new ball game. It can be a competitive war, a battle of wits and a power play. Another thing, you and the groom-to-be may be split over the budget. However, by ironing out the kinks this should improve somethings. How? Be fair and compromise on stuff!

2 • Do you have old-fashioned or modern values?

Secondly, difficult wedding decisions may cause stress. You’ll ask questions about blending antiquated traditions with modern day rituals. Are you catholic, protestant, christian or an atheist? Whatever view of marriage you may have, it could be outdated and stuffy. Your partner might feel it is the embodiment of the sacrament and the bedrock of society.

3 • Do you have spiritualist, non-religious or religious beliefs?

By the same token, are you brawling about a registered civil partnership? Are you reluctant to host a non-religious commitment ceremony? Do you and your partner prefer a traditional white wedding? Well, if you struggle with the design, fixtures and timings of the big day, don’t pigeonhole your ideas. Speak your mind.

4 • What is the meaning of marriage?

But look at what marriage really means to you. Do you desire a  strong and loving relationship? Or do you want a symbolic ritual to confirm the merging of your 2 souls, strong moral values and hopes for the future? Do you want to quarrel about your wedding plans? Well, be realistic about what is going on. And ask these important per-marriage questions to get the answers.

5• Is your head spinning about family feuds?

With the above in mind, are you quarreling about seeking parental approval? Well, you and your partner’s unvarnished opinions, the family and in-law feuds could put you in a predicament. But, you’ll have to face the tough decisions about having an intimate, mega-rich, vintage or elaborate bohemian-chic wedding. So, will you shun or appease?

difficult wedding decisions couple holding wooden cut-outs of two love birds wit the words we do

6• Do you shun or appease parents, family and in-laws?

One way or another, you might be nasty to one another. Why? Well, are you thinking long and hard about interfering parents? Do you want to exclude some people? Perhaps you need to appease your family? Just be transparent about what you desire and don’t worry about disappointing close relatives.

7• Do you strike while the irons hot?

So, you’ve got a guest list full of family and friends. You could be stressed out about family feuds and concerned about certain members attending the wedding. Don’t worry,  snuggle up together on the couch with a glass of wine, get the list and be realistic about the headcount.

8• What about difficult decisions like sacrificing your vision?

Do you have a mixed heritage family? How important is your cultural, spiritual/religious beliefs? What about your upbringing and background differences? Let’s face it, if you are both making assumptions about your wedding, it’s the wrong way to go. Remember, comprising is what you need to make your relationship stronger.

9. Do you have great expectations of planning a wedding?

So, are you doubting your future together? Perhaps you need to look at your wedding expectations. Being in the spotlight on the big day could be another difficult wedding issue to deal with; personality clashes. Would you consider an elopement wedding?

10• Why difficult wedding decisions lead to compromise?

Would you sacrifice your personal wishes to create the perfect wedding day? Overcome your fears and refuse point-black to budge. Again, finding a happy medium with one another is the key answer to a relaxed and carefree marriage ceremony. Find a location that suits you both.

difficult wedding decisions silver cutlery white serviettes, wine glasses and lavender in a jar on a table11• What is on your bucket list expense sheet?

So, what is the important conversation you must have about your nuptials? Is is the bridal gown? Like it or not a new dress can be one of the biggest expenses on your wedding checklist. If you’re partial to a particular style, stick to your guns. Ping pong ideas back and forth but make sure it’s a colour that doesn’t clash with your partner’s suit.

12• Have you planned a bridal gown session?

But do you desire a traditional pure white gown? Perhaps a typical off-white wedding dress or modern jumpsuit is more to your liking.  Whatever you desire it’s your big day. Break away from the stereotypical and long-established customs.

13• Do you have difficult wedding decision tunnel vision?

Choosing for a informal, formal, modern, commitment ceremony or alternative ritual is all the rage these days. How do you avoid falling into a tunnel vision wedding planning trap? Well, don’t let the hustle and bustle get you down.

14• How do you invest, nurture and express your feelings?

During your bridal gown session, express your true spirit by letting your personality shine through. But, what’s the next step to planning your big day? Investing a little more on your wedding outfits could be the ticket. Although the dress will be worn once, the expense is worth it.

15• Do you want your H2B to wear a tuxedo or suit?

But, what is your partner wearing? Don’t let your groom’s attire, be the tipping point of your soon-to-be wedding. The garment otherwise known as a tuxedo or fitted suit formalizes the ceremony. So, set the date for a visit to the local clothing shop together.

16• What is the difficult wedding decisions about the theme?

Equally important, what is the colour of the suit he should wear? Usually the traditional colours of a suit are:

  • Deep black
  • Dark blue
  • Rich burgundy
  • Or warm grey

17• How do you set the scene for what to wear?

Do you have a wedding etiquette code? Whether you fancy a romantic elopement in Amsterdam or a grand affair in Italy, set a dress code.  Avoid drama and make sure everyone pulls it together for your big day. Imagine if there isn’t one!

18• Why whittle down the wedding guest list?

Would you consider this a difficult wedding decision? Are you willing to whittle down your guest list? Although, your in-laws, wedding guests or other invitees are vital for making your day a triumphant success. It could be that their presence completes the ambiance at your ceremony, reception and party.

19• Do you  envision a bland wedding without guests?

To sum up, let’s not sugar coat things, are you stuck but ready to tackle the above difficult wedding decisions? Well, if push comes to shove just see it as a challenge and face the awkward feelings between you and your hubby-to-be. Basically, don’t get stuck in the drama and remember your in this love together.

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Over to you…..

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About Clover Jean: I'm a Londoner based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Being a specialist celebrant | marriage officiant | wedding ceremonies MC with a gospel & soul choir is rewarding work. So, my guilty pleasures are fine dining, travel hotspots and on-line retail therapy. What's yours? Get in touch, via Instagram #cloverjeanamsterdam or Facebook. LIKE, SHARE, SPREAD THE LOVE & see you soon!

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